My Satisfied Heart

For the last several years, if not for the last couple of decades, or perhaps my entire life, I have struggled to find my place in the world. What I have wanted seemed to be what so many people get automatically. I wanted a family, friends, a home of my own, a career, a child and a partner. What I have learned along the way is that you don't just get these things automatically, you aren't just handed them. You really have to work at it. Also, no one's life is as simple and easy as it may appear. Everyone struggles, everyone fights battles and everyone is working at it in some way shape or form. Tonight I am sitting here thinking about how very fortunate I am and how very grateful I am for all that I have. Because my heart and my life is very full.  I might be a little superstitious because proclaiming this makes me fear that the ceiling will come crashing down. Hopefully that is not the case, but if it is, I will enjoy this moment right here, right now.

I've noticed it more and more lately, I am changing and I think it is for the better. Little things like thumbing past my more melancholy CD's and choosing more upbeat music to sing along to in the car. Or big things like learning that I am loosing hearing in my right ear and reacting with the thought "Well, my left ear is fine, things could be a lot worse". Every day I hit obstacles and road blocks that might have sent me down a spiral of  stress and despair before. Now I see the issues, think through them and roll on. Plus I am happier, I am just really happier. Of course I have bad days, we all do, but I am very satisfied with my life. Not because I am filthy rich and living the high life, far from it. But because my life is full of love, family, friends and more. What more could I ever ask for? I do not yearn for change, I simply enjoy each day in hopes that the next day will be just as full.

I do not have any major weight loss to report. I've been maintaining but not dropping lately. I just wanted to tell you, dear reader, that life is so very sweet. Take a minute and really look at your life and celebrate what is most precious to you, it makes things so much better when they get rough.

Goals and What-Not

Well, the last week of January was a bit of a struggle but the first week of February went much better. I haven't been a complete rock star but I've been doing pretty good. Friday I stepped on the scale and saw that I am finally under 280, down to 279 to be exact. That's 25lbs lost!!! That means I've hit my first weight loss goal of 2016!  Woo Hoo! To celebrate I would like to play a round of what weighs 25lbs?!

Gilda is an adorable terrier mix who weighs in at 25lbs!

This is Andre the Giant Cat and he weighs an impressive 25lbs!

This huge pillow is 5 feet long and weighs 25lbs!

So I'm feeling pretty good about hitting that first goal but that means I have to keep on working because I still have a long way to go.  My next goal is not a weight goal but a size goal.  I want to fit into this....

I purchased this beautiful shirt at The Merchant while visiting the amazing Lisa Boyd. This top is perfect, lovely shade of red, art nouveau flowers and the cut is just fantastic.  I tried it on when I got home and my belly is just too big for it. So My next goal is to get to where I can wear this lovely top without constrictions.  We will see how it goes!

Slipping

One thing that I really love about keeping this blog is that it helps me to see the patterns I seem to have in dieting. I start to do well, see some results, get comfortable and then I slip back into bad habits. Since the beginning of this year I have done very well, until last week. Last week I struggled and lost daily. Each time I told myself that I would get back with it "tomorrow". And each tomorrow turned out to be a failure as well.  Now, I'm not full-on super sized meal deal failing, but I am slipping a little bit each day. I have started having sodas again which I had completely eliminated. I find myself justifying late night snacks. And I am allowing myself to buy things like three cookies. When I buy the cookies I intend to eat one a day as a snack. But without fail I eat all three in one day. I have to be stronger if I want to get past this stage of teetering and push into a solid healthier lifestyle. The Wunder Hubs has been doing fantastically and seems to be shrinking daily. I know men loose weight faster than women generally but I also know he has been a lot better about watching what he puts in his body.  I need to be like him. I also need to get back on the treadmill, I haven't for weeks and I feel it.  So far today has been a good day, I am way under my calorie count and I plan on staying that way. We will see how it goes.

Today's theme song is Missy Elliott's Lose Control