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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I love cake like a fat girl loves.... oh wait.

Yesterday I bravely resisted cake and nachos which were provided to the office as part of a United Way event.  I proudly went home with my head held high.  And today, when I went into the office kitchen for a cup of coffee, I was expecting the table to be bare as it is most days.  But no.

Cake, tortilla chips and delicious butter mints.  So unfair.
I do so love cake.......
Especially when it has such luscious icing....
Look, it is a marble cake!  I bet the next slice will have a bunch of chocolate in it.
Whoa.  The lid just magically jumped off!
Hey!  How did those plates and fork and knife for slicing get there???
Oh my, what a tiny little piece of goodness
Why hello there.....
Forgive me diet for I have sinned.
Serious happy cake face
So OK, I failed a tiny bit.  But that's OK.  I am still being a good kid and I have to enjoy things a little or I will never make it.  And you know, that little piece of cake wasn't the best I had ever tasted, but it was just the right amount to help me stop obsessing over it.  Onward and up ward my friends!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Food Addict

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
Well dearies, I am sure by now you have noticed the radio silence on my end of the world.  Sure I still post on facebook, Twitter, etc. but I am certainly NOT talking about dieting.  And I have not posted a new blog post since last July.  I have failed.  I don’t know how I let this happen, I was doing so very, very well.  I had gotten down to 226 lbs in April, I was certain I was going to meet my goal of being under 200 pounds by the end of the year.  Then I just lost the fire, the drive, or maybe I lost the fear. 

I stepped on the scale last week and read 248 lbs………….damn it DAMN IT D-A-M-N-I-T!!!!!!!!!
I had gone into self loathing, embarrassed of how I look and all around ashamed of myself.  I binged like no one has binged before.  I ate and I ate, I ate out of sadness, happiness, boredom, anger, for recreation, for any reason I could think of but rarely because I was hungry. And exercise became a thing of the past.  Now here I am, only 17 pounds away from where I started at the beginning of the year.  Something big has to change.
So last week I slowly started working my way back to exercise.  Thursday night I joined my friends Jennifer and Lukas in Auburn, Kansas.  We walked from their house to the Auburn fair. The walk was probably only five or six blocks long but I was definitely winded by the end of it. Then Friday night Wunder Hubby and I attended the First Friday Art Walk in downtown Topeka.  We started at Constitution Hall and walked up Kansas Avenue to The Merchant and then back.  This was a good walk for both of us, but we were both pretty worn out when it was done.  Then Saturday, Gavin and I joined our friends Catie Walker, Samantha Bell and Derek Hoppas for the Color Run in Lawrence, Kansas.  Our team was named “Nothing Rhymes With Orange” and our mascot was a moping orange.  The day of the run we were so excited, if you do not know about the Color Run you should really check it out. 
Gavin and I walked the entire 5k while the rest of the team ran on ahead.  That was OK with us, it was nice to get some mom and son time in while we rocked Gavin’s first ever 5k.  We met up with the rest of the team at the finish and it was a wild party of music and colors everywhere. This seemed to me to be the best way to get back on track.  Not a punishment or banishment from food, but instead a celebration of health and life.  So dearies, if you will have me, I am getting back on board.  I am determined to get healthy and stay that way.   Scroll down to see pictures of the Color Run.
Gavin and Mom before the run, we were taking a few precautions against the cold and powder in the eyes.  You will see all of these items came off by the end of the day.
After his third color station.  Feeling a bit tired but having fun.
We made it to the finish line and found Sam, Catie and Derek.  We were all feeling mighty powerful!

Gavin very much enjoyed the after party.  The kid went nuts dancing, screaming and jumping up and down.  There may or may not be some videos floating around the interwebs documenting his sick moves.

After party color cloud

Team: Nothing Rhymes With Orange!