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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Educational Info Graphic

Today I thought I would make this a little more fun.  (Everyone seems worried about me, I’m fine!)  So I decided to share an info graphic.  My husband and I are both overweight.  We accept each other for who we are and put no demands on each other to look a  certain way.  Yes, we do care about each other’s health and would like us both to be thin and active, but we love each other just the way we are.  That being said, we also both have an odd sense of humor which is probably one of the reasons we work so well together.  In our five years together, we have developed names for our fatty bits.  Some you have heard before, others are unique as we made them up.  Please enjoy.

1.       Phat Head – When you are overweight, it is surprising at times that EVERYTHING on your body is overweight.  Notice how our friend, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, cannot wear a normal hat.  Oh, he may try, but as you can see it can only stay on his head tilted and clinging for life.  Any movement and that little puppy is gone with the wind.

2.       The Gobbler – Genetics were not kind to me and I have inherited what we call the gobbler.  The Gobbler is a large sac of fat that settles itself around the neck.  It looks like an inflated turtle neck sweater.  It is miserable and if I was disgustingly wealthy I would have it removed immediately.  Even if I were thin, I am certain I would have a small double chin. 

3.       Pudgy Snasauge Fingers – As stated in the first point, EVERYTHING is overweight.  That means you can give up buying normal jewelry, rings, necklaces, bracelets, etc. all need to be a special size.  And it is heart wrenching to see the same jewelry dangle and fall off a normally sized person. 

4.       Bye-Bye – I wish I could claim this but alas I cannot, a friend in high school created the name and it stuck with me.  We call the dangly fat under our arms “bye-bye’s” because if you wave at someone the fat will wave too.

5.       Woot/Moot – This one is gender specific.  Woot for female, Moot for male. This term came from an accidental slip of the lounge and it stayed with us.  One day my beloved and I were horsing around when I pinned him down in his chair.  He declared “GET OFF MY MAN MOOT!”  We both laughed so hard and decided that *oot was a good name for that part of the body.   

6.       Thigh-Bye – A clever play off of Bye-Bye.  For the same basic reasons.

7.       Jankles – This is what I call my janky ankles after a day of walking on them, especially after a day in heels. 

8.       Phat Foots – As stated previously, EVERYTHING is overweight.  Good luck finding shoes that fit, especially if you are lucky like me and already have wide feet.

I hope you enjoyed the info graphic, I was thinking about it all day.  Weight loss isn’t a bad thing, it’s a very good thing!  And having a sense of humor about it makes it that much more doable.  Have fun with me everyone!  J

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The me I do not like to see

I posted my first fat photo on facebook today.  What I mean by that is I used a photo that is not meticulously angled to hide my neck fat and crop out my wideness. 
Here is an example, what I would normally post....

 What I posted today........

It is simply a photo of me.  I am surprised by how difficult it is for me to look at it.  I know that is what I look like, but in my head I still look like I did in high school, a size 18.  People have given me kind words about my blog and my photo, it’s hard not to think that they still criticize me.  But that is what I have to move past.  I have to quit caring so much about what other people think of me.  It is an emotional trap that I have been stuck in for years.  I know who I am.  I know where I fail in life, but I also know where I succeed.  So I am terrible at proper nutrition and portion control.  I am great at making people feel at ease.  I am creative and somewhat talented, I have to stop letting my physical self hold me back. 

Two cans of Slimfast and a granola bar so far today.  Still thinking about food.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Day 1

Not sure if I will continue to count the days, it seems a little pointless because I am hoping to change my life for good, not just for a few months.  But here is where I am today.  It is a late summer day outside my office window and I have not eaten real food today.  That is where my mind is.  I could be thinking about other things, but all I can think about is what I haven't eaten.  I am trying the Slimfast plan again.  It usually works to take off about 10 -15 pounds.  But I know I cannot continue on this diet.  This is a temporary start.  It works well with the budget and it is easy enough to control.  How do skinny people think?  Do they look outside and think about the weather, or do they think about how great that clump of broccoli was?  Can I ever not think of food on a steady basis? 

I know I need to incorporate exercise into my life.  It was easier when I was 22.  A jog after dinner wasn't that big of a deal, I even enjoyed it a little.  But now it is different.  I am heavier, my joints hurt more and my schedule is much more demanding then it was back then.  I can come up with hundreds of excuses for why I "can't" but none of them cancel out why I "should".  I know it will not happen tonight.  When I leave the office I will pick up my son, go home and eat dinner with the family and then take the kiddo to guitar lessons.  By the time all of that is over I will need to review my homework and turn it in, get the kiddo to bed, fold some laundry and fall into bed myself.  Tomorrow is very similar.  It is the kiddo's birthday so we will be having pizza and treats for dinner, plus there is a school event I am required to attend.  No exercise for two days.  Yes I know I could do this in the mornings but it never works out well for me.  Either I sleep in too late or I work out too long. 

See, really good at the excuses. 

Why Share This

My name is Martha, I go by Martie because I hate my name.  The reason I hate my name is the fact that I was teased relentlessly by children in public school.  I was teased for three reasons, 1. I was named Martha, 2. I was and still am very odd, and 3. I am a fat girl.  Now as a woman of 31 years, I am still the same little Martha hiding from the world.  Online I am fun and outgoing, in person I am terrified of judgement and avoid social situations as much as possible. 

Perhaps this very public blog will help to motivate me to stick to a weight-loss plan.  Thinking about those who read this and regularly check back in to see if there is progress, might just push me to my goal.  My current weight is 256 lbs.  That is drastic considering I am only five feet and two inches tall. 

So what if I fail.....again?  Maybe this blog will help me to accept who I am.  I will never be the thin, tall woman of American media.  I will always be short, chubby and frumpy.  I hope to learn to love Martha for who she is and stop trying to hide her with angled photos and baggy clothing.