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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Small Victories

This weekend in Topeka the Shrine Circus was performing at the Kansas Expo Center.  This is a wonderful event that generates income for the Shriner’s so they can in turn, do the good that they do for children and the community.  Why wouldn’t anyone want to go?   
I have taken my son for the last three years and every year it’s the same.  The small, green, metal seats in the Expo Center will simply not hold my bodacious booty.  I would spend the show with my jacket draped over one arm of the seat and kind of propping myself on that.  Sitting at a very strange and strained angle we would watch the first half of the circus.  I would always try to not let my son know I was uncomfortable.  I would do the mom thing and point out details of the show and listen to him when he saw something new, all the while in my head I am thinking please let me get out of here!  Each year I would find some reason why we needed to leave the circus at intermission. 
The circus came this year and I knew I had to muster up the nerve to go.  I wanted my son to have a good time and enjoy the show so I invited a friend of his to come along too.  In the car the boys were all giggles and excitement.  I was too, but inside I was dreading the embarrassment of trying to sit in those seats.  We got to the Expo Center and parked the car, got the boys light up guns (because the circus is not the circus without light toys), got the boys popcorn & cotton candy (water only for me), and then we started to climb the stairs to the seats. 
I looked at the seat, it looked back at me. 
“Hello again” I said, hoping that the seat would be kind to me.
“Bonjour fatso!” snorted the seat.  You know, those seats really are jerks.
“Let’s dance this dance” I said in defiance.  I got the boys situated in their seats; they were already shooting clowns with their guns.  I turned and took a deep breath.  Gingerly I lowered myself in the direction of the seat.  Wait….What?  No….this CAN’T be….. I lowered myself a bit more, then a bit more until I landed in the seat.  Yes that’s right dear readers, I FIT IN THE EXPO CENTER SEATS AGAIN!!!!!  I was 18 the last time I can remember fitting in one of those seats!  To make sure it wasn’t a fluke, I got up and sat down in a few different seats, I fit in all of them!  By George I even had a smidgen of wiggle room in them too!  
This year was the best Shrine Circus I have ever been too.  The boys and I had fun.  We played games, we shot clowns, we did it all.  But best of all, we stayed to the end of the show! 
I haven’t lost much this week, only two pounds. But the victory of being able to sit in those seats again shows me that I am making some progress.  I can start really living my life again. 

We be Clownin'