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Sunday, May 18, 2014

More Than My Frame Can Take

I weighed myself this morning, something that I rarely do anymore.  I weighed in at 280 pounds.  Honestly I expected it to be more, here’s why.  Two years ago, when I was blogging regularly and really working to lose weight, I could jog for an hour at least.  Now, a simple walk around the grocery store is near agony.  The muscles in my legs cramp up, I get this massive ball of pain in my lower back, and I am out of breath after a walk from one side of my apartment to the other.  This is a complete and total failure.  Because not only did I gain back the weight I had lost, I added to that weight.  I have never been this heavy in my life, even when I was pregnant with the kiddo I didn't weigh this much.

So it got me thinking, this is way more than my tiny skeleton is meant to carry.  My height is five feet and
This is a good representation of how I feel all the time
nearly two inches (I’m claiming that second inch!).  The kiddo, who will be turning 11 in a couple of months, is nearly the same height as I am.  Other kids in his class are now taller than me.  If you go by that scale that estimates ideal weight for height, I should be 100-110 pounds.  So that means I am carrying an extra 180 pounds with me wherever I go.  That is a full grown adult.  That my friends is insane.  No wonder I am exhausted all the time, no wonder none of my clothes fit right any more, no wonder my shoes are destroyed on a regular basis.  If I were Atlas it would be impressive, but since I am just me, not so much.

Hubs is in the same boat, we are morbidly obese and we are miserable.  Together we have set the date, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives.  Yes I know we have done this before, but it has to work this time.  If not I worry we will not be around much longer.  Today we are moving a treadmill to the book store.  We are hoping to buy a house this summer, once we do that the treadmill will once again be where we live and that will be a big help.  We have vowed that there will no longer be fast food lunches, no more fatty/sugary snacks in the house, and we will be drinking a lot more water. 

Here we go, 


  1. I know you can do it.. the first few steps are the hardest as you know.

    For me to be successful I had to do it for mysel, I had to learn to love myself where I was and mostly I had to make a commitment to myself.

    On June 15th of 2013 I was 268 pounds and I am down 80 pounds. I feel like a new woman...I wish this for everyone ;-)

    I wish you luck with your new changes.